本の紹介

現役精神科医のがん闘病日記に思う事

みなさんこんにちは!

先日、ちょっとしたきっかけがあって、こんな本を読む機会がありました。

前立腺癌体験記 15年の歩み という本です。

今回は、その内容と、感じたことをご紹介します。

本の概要

著者は89歳の現役の精神科医である。

その医師が、体力の低下や関節の疼痛とともにルーチンワークにスポーツを加えたり、規則正しい生活を意識したり、精神科医として自分なりの時間を過ごしていたところを15年前に病気を発症、治療をして、気持ちが揺らいだり、体調が左右されたり、そんな想いを綴った体験記である。

元々が日記を基に起こされている出来事の記載の為、その日の天気であったり、時事的な出来事だったりが随所に織り交ぜられ、具体性のある出来事として読み進めやすい。その頻回なPSA値とテストステロン値によって、病気としてのマーカーだけでなく、日常生活を送るための「元気マーカー」としてのテストステロン値測定のススメがなされていた。

あまりご家族のことには多くは触れられてはいないが、通勤、勤務する病院での一日、そして患者として受診する病院でのやり取りが主な生活の場として記載され、リズミカルに毎日がすすみ、読者としても気付けば令和の日の日記を読んでいるような感覚となる。

感じたこと

まず、がんの闘病記録を医師がつけているということに稀少がある。

さらに、それが精神科医である、すなわち内面の気づきが繊細で、語彙多く伝えられる立場にあるという事が、この本の大いなる魅力であると思う。

医師が、自身のがんについて記載するものも時にはみるが、どうしても、病態寄りというか、身体疾患寄りの目線での記載になってしまい、その内在する「こころ」は置き去りにされがちである。

本書籍では、ホルモン治療による「うつ症状」とそれに対するテストステロン値の対比を常に行っており、科学的な目線でうつ症状を解析しているものと思われる。

私自身は目立った病気をこれまでに患ったことはなく、現在の医師というハードワークも体力任せに行っている節がある。

筆者は、プライベートでの運動、病院での仕事、がんの闘病と、担癌で80歳代後半にもかかわらず、これほどまでに活動的な生活を送れるのかと感嘆するほどの活動量を誇っている。正直、自分が健康な80代であってもこれほどの活動を維持できるのだろうかと疑問に思ってしまう。その精神的な活力の源はどこから来ているのか、今度是非一度伺ってみたいところです。

本編の内容とは異になりますが、この手記を通して、日記を書くことの重要性を感じました。

自分は筆が遠いタイプなので、過去に一度も日記などというような高尚なものは書いたことが無いのですが、記載していることによりその日の天気、自身の情動、出来事などが具体性を持った記憶として記録されることが分かりました。今後も是非、追報を読ませていただきたい、そして5年先の未来から見て、同じ出来事が同じ感情で語られるものなのかどうか、確かめていきたい、そんな不思議な気分にされる本でした。

よろしければ、是非ご一読ください。では。

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